It’s not subtle. At one point a character has a line that might as well have started with “And now I shall state the moral of the film.” Also: I learned that adding enough electricity to properly connected parts of dead bodies can create Wolverine powers.
Also: At one point Dr. Frankenstein mentions that The Creature will need to be huge to make the work easier, and I half expected Teri Garr to pop in and say “He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!”
This is my 200th fake poster!
Still holds up.
The science makes no sense, but this movie’s really a fantasy story so that’s okay. Still weird that Marty’s mom has a little chuckle over the guy waxing her car being the guy who sexually assaulted her in high school, though.
I used the Back to the Future poster for a movie earlier this year, so it seems right to go the other way for this fake poster:
This is the worst movie I’ve seen all year (sorry, Star Trek: Section 31. You don’t even get to be at the top of the worst list any more).
Some people love this movie. They call it anti-art or meta-cinema, and I can see someone having that take, but when does something move from absurdist meta-commentary to stale and unwatchable?
I figured out what this feels like. Sometimes musicians start out with zero money and make great music with bad equipment and no budget because they’re driven and talented. Then they start making money, their technical skills and instruments get better, the music gets more polished and generic, and they get accused of “selling out.” So they decide to go back to basics, get out their old crappy instruments, and make an album “like they used to do it.” And it sounds fake, because they know too much and can’t do it the way they used to do it.
Are there good performances? Sure. Whole scenes, even some whole stories work. But most of it was three hours (THREE HOURS) of barely watchable stories full of (intentionally bad) AI generated graphics and (fake) AI written stories.
I’ve hear that “bad” art makes you think more than “good” art. If that’s true, congratulations Dracula: you made me think a lot.
When the witch is Veronica Lake, of course you marry her.
Here’s some bad luck that messed with the legacy of Fredric March (1620 Vine Street): He was once part of a group at school called the Ku Klux Klan- but it was a student honor society, completely unrelated to the infamous Klan, that was founded before the Klan had a significant presence. The student group changed their name when the bad Klan gained notoriety, but when the original name was discovered people thought March had been racist. In fact, March worked with the NAACP and other civil rights organizations for a half century.
Witches? Significant trees? Maryland? Today’s fake poster was practically begging to be made.
Not as Yorgos as you might expect, until it becomes exactly as much Yorgos as you’d expect.
Here’s your fake poster:
A movie that made me so glad I never had a kid. Two hours of unrelenting stress (complimentary).
Today’s base poster was chosen purely for similar title length.
You can’t make a parody movie this good without loving and respecting the source material. There are tons of scenes that would seamlessly blend right in to the original movies. But the jokes work on their own- knowing the original Frankenstein movies adds some layers, but everything holds up on its own merit.
Also: How did Mel Brooks manage to have Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein come out in the same year?
Today’s fake poster in from a movie about a different abnormal brain.
If you’ve ever wanted to waste an hour watching a lifeless story about a woman raising chickens at the end of World War One, then this is the movie for you!
Eugene O’Brien (1620 Vine St) plays Major Baldwin, who pretends he isn’t a soldier so he can more easily talk to the locals. Everyone hates him for not being a soldier, so that didn’t work.
There are very few images for this movie online, so I went with the simple and obvious choice. Fun fact: this is the first one of these posters to include horrible blackface. Not that there’s good blackface.
If a mysterious car throws a bag of money into your car, just take it to the police and say you found it. When no one claims it, it’ll be yours. Seems a lot easier than murder and stuff.
Also: Mulholland Drive has barely changed in 75 years. While I was watching them drive I kept thinking “I’ve been there on my bike!”
Lizabeth Scott (1624 Vine Street) is the casual femme fatale. No planning here; just a lot of “I guess I’ll fix this with murder.”
And now, the fake poster. It’s weird and stretchy because the original is weird and stretchy.
Alice Lake was often the female lead in Fatty Arbuckle shorts. I watched her in “Good Night, Nurse!,” where she played the important role of “Crazy Lady.” Her star is sometimes listed at 1624 Vine Street, and other times at 1620 Vine Street. I understand the confusion, since street number order on that block is really weird. If you look on Google Maps the street numbers overlap and flip around.
It’s like film noir, but with oversaturated color and a truly nonsense storyline featuring two sisters: one who works for a man trying to become mayor and clean up the town, and one who is a kleptomaniac just out of prison. And there’s a weird love quadrangle thing going on. And Chekov’s speargun.
One thing is sure- Arlene Dahl (1624 Vine St) worked all the angles to wring as much cash as she could out of this gig. Besides whatever she got for acting, there was a line in the credits that said “Arlene Dahl’s lingerie by Arlene Dahl Fashions.” and then there’s this:
Two fake posters based on beach movies in a row. One more and I have to change my name to Moondoggie.
