I wish I’d seen this with no idea what kind of movie it was. Nearly half the movie is not what you’d expect from the marketing. One thing I did have going for me: I missed some really obvious things in the trailer.
There’s a musical number in the middle that easily could have slid off the rails (and for about a half second I thought it was going to) but it ends up being fantastic.
I started today’s poster thinking I’d have to just recreate the title, so I did that. The I realized that doing it right would mean hand drawing nearly every letter on the poster. So I did it wrong. Enjoy!
There should be more movies like this. Not because this movie is brilliant (it’s good but not great), but because it’s a (mostly) lighthearted romp full of (mostly) strong performances. Lily Gladstone once again shows that they can tell whole stories with just their face. Totally follows the formula you’d expect it to follow, but movies follow formulas because they work.
Today’s fake poster is based on an abandoned teaser campaign for a movie that came out three times. If you recognize it, you might be as big of a nerd as me.
Netflix tried to trick me into watching the dubbed version instead of the subtitled one. And after I watched it, I noticed the subtitles in the trailer were different (and better!) than the ones on Netflix. Boo! Still glad I saw it.
Also: the English title really makes it sound like this is some sort of wacky “where did granny hide the loot?” story, and it’s not that at all. The original Thai title is much shorter and more accurate: Lahn Mah, which apparently is specifically about the connection between grandmothers and grandsons.
This poster is dumb, and reminded me how terrible I am at using Adobe Illustrator. I doubt anyone will get the reference without peeking at the alt text.
Secret Mall Apartment starts out looking like it’s documenting an art prank, but it builds into discussions of gentrification, creativity, relationships, and why people make art. They definitely gloss over some rough patches; all the participants are still alive and get interviewed, but they never get any of them in the same space at the same time (or even on the phone), which makes it feel like there was some tension that split them apart. No surprise there- Some of them have the big energy you’d expect from a group of artistic folks, and big energies cause disruptions of relationships.
I tried a few different ideas for fake posters, but finally gave in to the inevitable Blartiness.
A Minecraft Movie
This was a “I don’t really care about this but my students want me to see it” movie. How bored was I? Well, I went in the late morning after a full night’s sleep, and still ended up dozing for a bit in the middle. I didn’t feel like I missed anything, even though they were talking about a character dying during my nap. I just thought “That guy’s not really dead; he’ll pop up at a crucial moment and save someone.” Maybe I would have been more amused if I played the game, but a movie that only works if you know the references is a movie that doesn’t work. My favorite scenes:Jennifer Coolidge’s romance b-plot.
This poster is really just me slapping images on top of the original, but it works for me!
I saw two reviews for Dick Tracy in one day. One loved it, and one said “this movie and Batman & Robin should have to fight, and the loser disappears forever.”
So I watched it.
Visually, it’s a masterpiece. The rest of it is kind of a mess, but it looks like everyone’s having fun. And who would have thought that the weakest part of a Madonna performance would be her singing?
Today’s parody poster is brought to you by K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70s.
I actually happened to see it in Oakland at the Grand Lake Theatre, which was funny because I didn’t know the first scene actually takes place at that very theater.
It’s a little rough around the edges, but in a good, semi-magic, sort-of Pulp Fiction way. This pictures I chose make it look like it’s mainly about Pedro Pascal’s character and Sleepy Floyd, but there are four interconnected stories, and most of them aren’t represented here.
This isn’t a terrible idea for a poster, and it would work better with a little more focus, but I flew home two hours ago and I’m too tired to give it a proper polish.
These were both spur-of-the moment choices. One choice was better than the other.
The Kentucky Fried Movie
I was looking through free stuff and this popped up. I thought “Hey, I remember that being funny- I’ll watch it!” It does not hold up. Most of the jokes are only funny if you don’t already know them, and there was so much cheeseball nudity that I kept hiding my screen in case my spouse woke up and thought I was watching seventies porn.
It’s also very much made for people who watched movies and TV in the seventies. I’m guessing most people under thirty would have no idea that a huge chunk of the movie is a direct parody of Enter the Dragon.
This is not a great parody poster, but it’s a better parody poster than this movie deserves.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
My students finished testing early, so we had an hour and a half to fill. I pulled up the first age-appropriate movie I thought might interest them that I could find.
This movie is so damn good. I hope the final part eventually gets made, but it doesn’t feel very promising. It’s currently scheduled to come out on my birthday… two years from now.
This parody poster isn’t terrible, but this movie deserves a better one.
But that costume sure looks cool in shades of blue!
Sometimes when I’m watching ultra-low budget movies like this it’s hard to see past the amateur acting and appreciate what the filmmakers managed to capture with pretty much nothing. The acting in this can be pretty rough, but it really captures the feel of San Francisco’s Chinatown.
It took a while to come p with something for this parody poster. I ended up going with a lost and found link.
…and yes, Wayne Wang really did direct Maid in Manhattan.
Two not-creepy, uplifting movies in a row? It’s a movie miracle! Now I need to find a bar that only serves beer in glass boots.
I had a good idea for the parody poster, but I didn’t give myself enough time to get the lettering right. This might be the first poster to get a remastered edition.
I can do Saul Bass Lettering if I take my time, honest. Look: Proof!
Charming. That’s what this film is. Gentle, but strong. Charming without being precious. It’s not afraid to follow standard movie plots, but it knows how to push them into new spaces. I was worried when I saw the trailer that Tim Key’s stream of consciousness delivery would be grating, but he knows when to pull it back and let his eyes do the acting.
And the music holds up!
My first thought for a poster was a Wallace & Gromit redo (Wallis? Wallace? GOLLY I AM CLEVER), but I realized making a fake poster for a sweet movie based on the poster for a different set of sweet movies was redundant. I did get as far as a rough logo, though:
I mean, I even found the right font.
Then I went a different way, and picked a different movie about a very different island.
