Category: Photoshop

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Bugonia

    Emma Stone with a shaved head in Bugonia.
    The eyes of Jesse Plemons in Bugonia.

    Not as Yorgos as you might expect, until it becomes exactly as much Yorgos as you’d expect.

    Here’s your fake poster:

    A fake poster for Bugonia mimicking the poster for The Apartment.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: If I had Legs I’d Kick You

    Rose Byrne in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You.
    A$AP Rocky in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You.

    A movie that made me so glad I never had a kid. Two hours of unrelenting stress (complimentary).

    Today’s base poster was chosen purely for similar title length.

    A fake poster for If I Had Legs I'd Kick You mimicking the poster for The Man Who Knew Too Much.
    I like the way this makes it look like the movie is a romantic comedy.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Little Miss Hoover and Eugene O’Brien

    Marguerite Clark and Eugene O'Brien in Little Miss Hoover.
    Eugene O'Brien in Little Miss Hoover

    If you’ve ever wanted to waste an hour watching a lifeless story about a woman raising chickens at the end of World War One, then this is the movie for you!

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Eugene O'Brien's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Eugene O'Brien.

    Eugene O’Brien (1620 Vine St) plays Major Baldwin, who pretends he isn’t a soldier so he can more easily talk to the locals. Everyone hates him for not being a soldier, so that didn’t work.

    There are very few images for this movie online, so I went with the simple and obvious choice. Fun fact: this is the first one of these posters to include horrible blackface. Not that there’s good blackface.

    A poster for Little Miss Hoover mimicking the poster for Little Miss Sunshine.

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Slightly Scarlet and Arlene Dahl

    Rhonda Fleming, John Payne, and Arlene Dahl in Slightly Scarlet.
    Arlene Dahl leaving prison in Slightly Scarlet.

    It’s like film noir, but with oversaturated color and a truly nonsense storyline featuring two sisters: one who works for a man trying to become mayor and clean up the town, and one who is a kleptomaniac just out of prison. And there’s a weird love quadrangle thing going on. And Chekov’s speargun.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Arlene Dahl's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Arlene Dahl.

    One thing is sure- Arlene Dahl (1624 Vine St) worked all the angles to wring as much cash as she could out of this gig. Besides whatever she got for acting, there was a line in the credits that said “Arlene Dahl’s lingerie by Arlene Dahl Fashions.” and then there’s this:

    An advertisement from a magazine for Lustre-Net hairspray featuring Arlene Dahl and the text: Arlene Dahl starring in "Slightly Scarlet" A Benedict Bogeaus RKO Production. Print by Technicolor in Superscope.

    Two fake posters based on beach movies in a row. One more and I have to change my name to Moondoggie.

    A fake poster for Slightly Scarlet mimicking the poster for Endless Summer.

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: What Price Glory? and Dolores del Rio

    Edmund Lowe, Dolores del Rio, and Victor McLagen in What Price Glory?
    Dolores del Rio and Victor McLagen in What Price Glory

    Wikipedia calls this a “comedy drama war film,” but I think they need to add “bawdy” in there somewhere.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Dolores del Rio's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Dolores del Rio.

    This was yet another time I wish I knew Spanish. If I did, I could have watched a talkie where Delores del Rio (1630 Vine Street) was the lead, instead of a synchronized sound movie where she’s “the pretty girl” in a love triangle with the two lead actors.

    I didn’t quite match the font for this fake poster, but I think it still works. Please enjoy my half-assed “colorization.”

    A fake poster for What Price Glory mimicking the poster for Beach Blanket Bingo.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Blue Angel and Emil Jannings

    Marlene Dietrich and Emil Jannings in The Blue Angel.
    Marlene Dietrich and Kurt Gerron in The Blue Angel.

    If you’re a high school teacher who hates his job, I can see how running away with a showgirl might look appealing, but it’s probably not going to work out.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Emil Jannings's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Emil Jannings.

    When the first Oscars were presented, the Academy supposedly had a problem. The actor with the most votes for Best Actor was Rin Tin Tin, and they couldn’t give the first award to a dog or they’d never be taken seriously. So they went with the runner up, Emil Jannings.

    Who later turned out to be a Nazi. Which didn’t stop the Walk of Fame from giving him a star in 1960 (1630 Vine Street). But to be fair, they also gave Rin Tin Tin his star on the same day.

    Today’s poster is another entry into the Good Idea, Bad Execution Club.

    A fake poster for The Blue Angel (poorly) mimicking the poster for Forbidden Zone.
    I disliked it so much (look at poor Marlene Dietrich’s face!) that I stopped early.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: An Affair to Remember and Delmer Daves

    Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant in An Affair to
    Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant in An Affair to

    Why does a movie full of strong banter between the two leads grind to a stop to include a hokey singing kids number? And why does it do it twice?

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Delmer Daves's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Delmer Daves.

    Delmer Daves (1634 Vine Street) wrote this based on his script for Love Affair. I wonder if the singing kids are as distracting in that version of the story.

    Today’s fake poster is based on one for a different movie about affairs and remembering.

    A fake poster for An Affair to Remember mimicking the poster for Total Recall.
    That’s supposed to be a cruise ship on the ocean, but it looks like the top of Nomad

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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Outfit and Jane Greer

    Joe Don Baker and Robert Duvall in The Outfit.
    The eyes of Robert Ryan in The Outfit.

    An aggressively standard old school crime thriller (complimentary). Really fun to watch a movie from when they used to actually film in Los Angeles. I’m pretty sure part of this was shot at a motel that’s around the corner from my apartment.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Jane Greer's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Jane Greer.

    Jane Greer (1634 Vine Street) only has one scene in this. I should have watched something else and saved this until I needed a Joe Don Baker movie.

    Fake poster time!

    A fake poster for The Outfit mimicking the poster for Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
    My favorite part of this one is Duvall’s giant head.
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  • Classic Movie Pass Adventures: A Matter of Life and Death

    Kim Hunter and David Niven in A Matter of Life and Death.
    Two small figures sitting on a massive staircase in A Matter of Life and Death.

    There’s a scene in the first Captain America movie that homages the first scene in this film. David Niven is a pilot who manages to contact a radio officer on the ground. He knows the plane is going to crash and is certain he will die. In the few minutes they have they manage to fall in love. It’s absurd and it works- just like the rest of this movie. Is it a war romance? A medical drama? A study of religion? A courtroom drama? An argument about American and British sensibilities?

    Yes it is.

    Is it about a crazed fan of a talk show? Nope, but somehow that’s the movie poster I copied.

    A fake poster for A Matter of Life and Death mimicking the poster for The King of Comedy.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: A House of Dynamite

    Rebecca Ferguson in House of Dynamite
    Gabriel Basso in A House of Dynamite.

    I was worried when the movie started with a wall of text, then more worried when the Obviously Symbolic Dinosaur appeared, but the movie won me over as it ratcheted up the tension.

    Then it started over from a different viewpoint, and it mostly lost me.

    The it started over again from yet another viewpoint, and it pulled me back in a bit, but not all the way.

    Then it just… ended.

    I get what Bigelow was doing with the repetition. The first version is the full bureaucracy angle, showing all of the agencies coordinating to deal with the attack. The second version focuses more on the smaller group of people doing everything they can to avoid escalating the situation, and the third narrows even further to one man deciding whether to start a nuclear war. We see tons of people worrying about the consequences of their decisions, but we never see any of those consequences (and sometimes we don’t even see the decisions).

    …but maybe that’s my problem. Tons of people loved this movie. All I know is that I got one of my best/dumbest fake movie posters out of it.

    A fake poster for A House of Dynamite mimicking the poster for Napoleon Dynamite.
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