Have you ever been killed on a boat, then had a song written about you? If you have, then this is the web site for you!

I've written a song I call "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." I believe it to be the first song of its type ever recorded. Furthermore, I believe it to be the greatest song of all time- better than "Particle Man," better than "Who Let the Dogs Out" - even better than "Push th' Little Daisies."

I hereby give this song to the world. Bless you all!

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald as performed by The Pressurized Floating Whist (330K)

Built in 1971 by a team of Austrailian midgets using materials scavenged from little circus clown cars, the Edmund Fitzgerald was the first boat to ever win a spelling contest. Some famous passengers included:

• Bo Diddley's Uncle
• A guy who kind of looks like Prince
• Pauly Shore

Scary:

	Sir Edmund Hillary - DEAD
	John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr.- DEAD
	The Edmund Fitzgerald- SUNK (which is like DEAD for boats)

The Edmund Fitzgerald (sometimes called "The Fitz" because "Edmund Fitzgerald" is a cumbersome and stupid name) had it's final voyage when the passengers realized they were on a boat made by midgets. They freaked out. I mean, they freaked out super hard core! Wouldn't you? They were yanking off bits of the boat and throwing it at the midgets! It was totally wild. I think I saw a man eat a midget, but that may have been the alcohol talking.

Years after the Fitz went down, Pamela Anderson, star of "VIP," had her breast implants removed. I often wonder if it hurt more to take them out than it did to put them in. Well, not often, but I did think about it once. Well, at least twice.

Do you have any stories to share about your experience with the Fitz? We'd love to hear them. Please walk around in public repeating them to strangers until we tell you to stop. Or send some email to dogwelder@gmail.com!