THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS

This film is the must-see undercover action film of the summer! Vin Diesel makes Russell Crowe look like David Spade! Jordana Brewster is a shoo-in for best actress! The Fast and The Furious crosses the finish line first! Stop reading this review and go see The Fast and The Furious right now! If you don't you'll never forgive yourself and you'll live a life of constant torture and misery! Why are you still reading? GO NOW!

ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE

I must admit, when I first heard about this film, I was not interested. How many animated movies about discovering ancient fabled underwater cities can be made before the genre implodes on itself?

Well, I shouldn't have worried, because ATLANTIS ROCKS! When you see this this film you'll feel like part of the action! The tide has turned, and the wonder of ATLANTIS has washed ashore! This film is the greatest animated movie of the last fifteen years!

SWORDFISH

Not since "Hackers" has a film so accurately portrayed the exciting world of computer programming! You'll squeal with delight as you hear important cyber-phrases like "I dropped a logic bomb" used in acasual conversation! You'll be amazed by the big computer that somehow has a bunch of screens attached to it!

Halle Barry is HOT! John Travolta is HOT! Hugh Jackman is HOT! Swordfish is the ultimate high-tech action movie! I can safely say that Swordfish is the greatest cybercrime movie of the last fifteen years!

EVOLUTION

David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Seann WIlliam Scott and Julianne Moore star in this wonderfully crazed comedy about aliens. Seann William Scott will win best supporting actor! The movie is GREAT! FANTASTIC! AMAZING! HILARIOUS! SIMPLY PERFECT! I can tell you with all sincerity that this film is the greatest comedy of the last fifteen years!