I can't tell you how many times I've had people say to me: "Hey
Luke, stop what you're doing and tell me a little bit about yourself."
Actually, people usually phrase it more along the lines of
"Hey Luke, will you please stop making those annoying sounds,"
but I know what they mean.
The world is filled with amazing people- people who are born with great talents and abilities. There are people who strive to reach the pinnacle of physical prowess. There are people blessed with incredible intelligence, and people with beauty beyond measure. But is very rare- impossible, some would say- to find someone who has more than a few of these gifts, and nearly impossible to find someone with all of these qualities. But there is at least one man who has all of these qualities, a man whose very perfection puts him at the point in human evolution just before godhood. Who is this man? I will tell you all you need to know with three words:
it's not me.
Now, if you are like most people- and I think you are- you disagree with that statement. You find me charming, handsome, suave, brilliant, and physically unmatched- a wonderful melange of the best parts of Keanu Reeves, Albert Einstein, Brad Pitt, Michael Jordan, and Jimmy Stewart. Yet I am flawed. First, there's the fact that I have a big hunk of my site devoted to a single picture of Suzanne Somers. That clearly indicates a degradation of brain cells. At least I didn't feature Farrah- or worse, Joyce DeWitt.
I guess could just be overloaded with pop culture. I can't help being fascinated by "superstars" like Suzanne (May I call you Suzanne? Thank You.) and Mr. T. It must be a horrible by-product of watching too much television. It's a small wonder that I can't name the capitals of the fifty states, but I can tell you the names of those blob things on the Herculoids. I can't remember which of the Poles (that would be the North & South Poles, not the Polish people) is the one with penguins, but I do remember that the little penguin stuck in Snack Canyon wants a Sprite ("Way to go, kid!").
I was born in Encino, subject of "Valley Girl", and grew up in Canoga Park, California, the home of "Time Rider"- that guy with the motorcycle who accidentally travelled back in time to the old west to become his own grandfather.
After high school I pursued a life of non-linear self-education. In other words, I've been a lazy bum. I managed to keep a job at Germain Street Elementary School in Chatsworth for a while, where I fooled the staff into thinking I am a computer expert. I've now moved on and fooled the folks at Balboa Gifted Magnet in a similar manner. Along the way, I was able to fool some other people into thinking I'd be a good apartment manager. Later, I got back together with my high school girlfriend (after twenty years), got married, and actually completed my English degree. Now I'm a teacher. I WILL NEVER LEAVE SCHOOL.
Drawing on those same skills of chicanery, I've convinced some people that I'm a web designer. I've done work for lawyers and musicians, and more lawyers and more musicians. I also managed to get married to my first love. Not bad.