Kathy (not to be confused with "Kathleen" or Katherine from Denise's page) is the latest old friend to ask "what do I have to do to get a mention [on your site]?" I wrote back: "I suppose I could tell the story about how a girlfriend almost broke up with me because of you."

She responded: "WHAT?"

I replied: "Well, it's really more because I something I did, but it did involve you... "

This apparently spooked her, since she hasn't responded to any email since then. That really is too bad, because I think she will enjoy this tale of stupidity and jealousy- my stupidity, Jackie's jealousy.

Jackie and I were at a point where we weren't spending much time together. We weren't at a breaking up point; we just had schedules that didn't match very well. At the same time, I had become pretty good friends with Kathy.

At the time, Kathy worked at a record store. She owned about five billion albums and was a high priestess of sarcasm- a frustrating combination. I had a dream that someday I would impress her with some bit of music knowledge, but it was hopeless. Everything I bit of music new I knew, she knew more about. Every new band I discovered was someone she was bored with months ago.

Kathy and I ended up spending a lot of time together- as friends. Not one drop of romantic stuff ever happened between us. Nothing. NOTHING.

But Jackie, for some odd reason, was uncomfortable with the idea of me spending more time with another woman than I was with her.

One day, I came home and Jackie was in the shower. I went in and said hello and she said "Hey, the phone just rang- could you check the answering machine?"

I went to the kitchen and played back the message. It was Kathy wondering what I was doing that night. I knew this would bug Jackie, so I (this is where my stupidity figures in), so I told Jackie "Oh, it was Ty, wondering what I'm up to tonight."

Jackie replied: "I already listened to that message."

I was a dead man.

Many, many hours later, she grudgingly accepted that it was possible that I was just trying to protect her feelings- but she was incredibly angry at me for a long, long time.

The lesson I should have learned: nothing makes jealousy bloom quite like being caught in a lie about another woman. Not that I actually learned it then- I didn't learn it until similar a "white lie" with a different girlfriend ("oh, I went to the movies... by myself!") blew up in my face with equal force. See, that's because I'm an idiot.

See, Kathy- that wasn't so bad, was it?