junk drawer

April 28

Pacbell's DSL ads claim "connections at speeds up to 1.5mbps." here's how fast I'm connecting:

faster than turtles!

That's right - I'm as fast as three modems! Pacbell tells me this is acceptable because they only guarantee 40kbps- less than my regular modem connect speed.


April 20
Bathroom Humor

Dear Public Toilet Seat Graffiti Creator:

I've seen your work on dozens of seats over the years. I appreciate that you've put a lot of effort into your craft. I just have a couple of questions:

Why toilet seats? Most graffiti is used as a kind of a claim of ownership- "I tag this area to be mine." Are you claiming the toilet seat as yours? Are you trying to build up an association between your name and places where people put their asses?

How did you come up with the "toilet tag" concept? Most forms of personal expression don't require the expressor to put their face in close proximity to a bowl of filthy stinking liquids and solids.

In closing, I feel I must strongly recommend the abandonment of the toilet seat tag concept. Stick to walls or billboards, and leave the toilet seats for their original purpose.


...And stay away from the urinals!


April 14

Can a left handed man simultaneously drive a car, hold a phone in his left hand, and write a note with his right hand without looking at the paper he's writing on? You be the judge:

I have no idea.

April 7
On the end,
it doesn't really matter

I am Google's number one pick when searching for Linkin Park boxer shorts.

April 5
More Antons

New stuff on the Not Dueling Antons page!

March 23

You are Spaceman Spiff!
Zounds! You are the intrepid Spaceman Spiff, the engaging explorer ensconced in an unending universe of exotic and evil extraterrestrials! You're brave, but you should give that dictionary a rest.
Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

March 19
26 Miles Across the Sea

Just for the 5th grade classes who got stuck on Catalina for two extra days:
The Ballad of Catalina Isle.

March 7
Pear People

So, I've been teaching some kids how to make web pages- actually, I pretty much let them make whatever they wanted- and I just started hosting the pages on my site. One of the pages, The Pear People, cracked me up, so I posted it on FilePile. Then, someone posted it to b3ta. That page has had more hits in the past three days than all of my pages together!

February 13
The End of One Bad Joke,
The Start of Another

A year ago, Bean (of KROQ's Kevin & Bean) mentioned on-air that he'd registered wreckoftheedmundfitzgerald.com. As his co-workers teased him, he pointed out with mock-surprise that no one had registered wreckoftheedmundfitzgerald.net.

So I did.

Over the past year I updated it exactly three times. Once for the original page, once for a KROQ Punk-Rock Prom contest, and once after they had the wacko "Paint the Moon" guy on the air. All told, the page got about fifty hits.

Today, the domain expires, and I've chosen not to renew it. But don't worry- the pages have been archived for posterity. Actually, I never got separate hosting for them, so they're exactly where they were before, but the forwarding won't work any more.

In place of WOTEF.net, I've registered a brand new domain- dogwelder.com. It's one of the top fifty dogs-and-welders sites ever created. I hope reading it brings you some small portion of the joy I had creating it. Dogwelder.com- catch the fever!

(FYI- dogwelder.net is taken.)


February 10
Art Problem SOLVED

This is why I love the Internet. I needed to know the name and artist of the painting below, but I only knew where it was hanging. I went online and found more information, but not enough to identify the painting. I emailed friends and posted to newsgroups the picture and information I had. Eventually, a total stranger who saw my post in alt.fan.cecil.adams (where the smart kids hang out) wrote this:

It is "Peter Weeping before Mary," painted in 1647, by Francesco
Barbieri, known as Il Guercino.

I publicly thank my ex, who graciously obtained this information for
me & arrived home from Paris a couple of hours ago.

Yes, a person I've never met convinced their ex to interrupt their European vacation to find information for me! Is that cool or what?

January 5
Art Problem/Koko

Do you recognize this painting?

Enlarged, fuzzier version:

This painting currently hangs in the Grande Galarie of the Louvre. It is from the 16th or 17th century, and the artist was Italian. To the left is an angel. To the right, an old man crying. If you recognize it, please tell me what you know about it! Thanks!

Also: New page about Koko, the clown!

January 4

Send Mazie a birthday card!

January 2, 2002

New for 2002: an exciting semi-new page design! Thank you, cascading style sheets! Orange is the new black! Coming soon: images that don't have fuzzy halos against an orange background! Exclamation! point!

Not NaNoWriMo

Holy cow- somebody's taken it upon themselves to create JaNoWriMo! Do I dare participate??? The clock, she is a ticking!