January 7, 2001
You can't win 'em all
You know how Microsoft claims every game of freecell is winnable? Well, it isn't true. (I stole the link from memepool).
The best spam ever
I got this today. It explains so much. I would have doubted it, but it's written in ALL CAPS so it must be true.
Subject: Ever Wonder About DEMONS!?!?
ARE YOU OVERCOME BY ANGER? IS YOUR WIFE INCREDIBLY CONTROLLING? ARE YOU UNABLE TO REACH YOUR POTENTIAL? ARE YOU DRIVEN TO USE PORNOGRAPHY EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT HURTS YOUR SPOUSE? ARE YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF CONTROL? HAS IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN YOURSELF MUST BE MANIPULATING THESE CONDITIONS? THEN, THIS NEW BOOK IS FOR YOU. PROPHETIC DELIVERANCE IS WRITTEN AS AN ANSWER TO THE QUESTIONS ABOVE AND MANY MORE.
"Honey, why are you so controlling?"
"Sorry, dear- it's those demons again..."
EVER WONDER WHY YOU TURNED OUT TO BE AN ALCOHOLIC WHEN YOU HATED THE ALCOHOLIC LIFESTYLE THAT YOUR FATHER OR MOTHER OR GRANDPARENT LIVED? WHY DO THE CHILDREN OF CHILD MOLESTERS BECOME CHILD MOLESTERS WHEN THEY HATED WHAT WAS DONE TO THEM? WHY HAS LIFE BECOMES HOPELESS? WHY HAS OUR COUNTRY SLID SO FAR DOWNHILL? PROPHETIC DELIVERANCE REVEALS THE DESTRUCTION OF GENERATIONAL CURSE LINES FLOWING THROUGH YOUR FAMILY AND HOW TO BREAK THEM.
"Hey Bill, wanna go to the movies?
"Not tonight- I have to stay home and break some generational
curse lines. Maybe we can go get dessert later."
IS YOUR LIFE CHARACTERIZED BY A PERFECTIONISM OR WORKAHOLISM THAT DRIVES YOU DESPITE ALL ATTEMPTS TO SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY LIFE? WHY CAN'T YOU OVERCOME THAT CHILDISH FEAR OF THE DARK, FEAR OF DEATH, OR ANY OF THE PHOBIAS IDENTIFIED BY THE PSYCHIATRIC COMMUNITY? HOW IS IT THAT THE BOOGIEMAN IS REAL IN NOT ONLY AMERICAN CULTURE BUT MOST ALL CULTURES AROUND THE WORLD? PROPHETIC DELIVERANCE APPROACHES THE SUBJECT OF DEMONS AND THEIR INSIDIOUS INFLUENCE UPON THE LIVES OF PEOPLE.
Note: this cure works only for
childish fear of the dark.
Please do not break generational curse lines to rid yourself of
an adult fear of the dark.
HERE IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO OWN A COPY OF A NEW BOOK BY T.C. MATHER ENTITLED: PROPHETIC DELIVERANCE. THIS BOOK IS HOT OFF THE PRESS AND IS BEING OFFERED AT AN INTRODUCTORY PRICE BY EMAIL. THE REGULAR PRICE IS $12.99 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING. BUT FOR A LIMITED TIME, SET FREE PRODUCTIONS IS OFFERING PROPHETIC DELIVERANCE FOR $9.99 PLUS $1.99 SHIPPING AND HANDLING.
They could have just said "free shipping,"
but the demons would see right through that.
December 27
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Disco Bluto From a comic book dated November 1980. Part of an advertisement for the new CBS cartoon lineup. |
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| The caption says "HE AM WHAT HE AM AND HE ALWAYS WILL BE. HIS FRIENDS ARE SOMETHING ELSE." Apparently, that something else is "Sherlock Holmes-type detective" for Olive Oyl and "Disco King" for Bluto. | |
November 28
I know nothing
http://www.thehelpgroup.com
http://www.geocities.com/tick2525
November 15
I See You, Bobby
Sometimes, bad ideas get trapped in my head and
must be released. Here's a prime example (wait 37 seconds to get
to the "clever part"):
I See You, Bobby!
(Try this link if the one above
won't stream)
November 11
Whirl-an_URL
It's back - Whirl-an_URL, the net's only truly random web page finder! Weep no more!
November 8
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Browdance School Picture Day 2000! |
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November 4
Gary Coleman
More lame recordings by me for you: Gary Coleman Techno (If that won't stream, try this link).
October 31
Spooky
It's Halloween, so I'm adding a spooky link!
October 30
Ted E. Bareball
So, I finally got decent multitrack recording software. What do I do with it? I make fake commercials for real charity events. (If that doesn't stream for you, try this link.)
September 12
e-maul
So, I got an email a couple of days ago that read:
I THINK IT IS SO FUNNY HOW PEOPLE WITHOUT MONEY ARE JELOUS OF PEOPLE WITH MONEY.
I had no idea what hell the guy was talking about. Today, I got this (from a different email address):
I dont think that you should be able to call your self a human when you are agenst bill gates. HE IS GOD of computers. He should be ALL you think about. saying that bill gates dosnt have a good hair cut is not cool. He is smarter then you can dream of. SO shut the hell up about his looks.
...and I figured it out. He's talking about my post at a What Would You Do With Bill's Money site. Whoever the guy is, he should stop worrying about Bill and invest in a keyboard with apostrophes.
September 3
Magnificent
Someone told me the other day that something I wrote was magnificent. They obviously weren't talking about this page.
July 14
Punks Not Dead
I'm working summer school. Today Freddy, an eight-year old Mexican kid, showed up for class wearing a shirt with a picture of Johnny Rotten and the word "Bollocks"- in Sex-Pistols/ransom-note writing, of course. I'm sure he has no idea what "Bollocks" means - or that he was wearing a shirt advertising a band that broke up 15 years or so before he was born.